The Most Outlandish Tale About Anxiety and Depression Ever Told

 Wait wait, the story doesn’t start here!  This is a blog hop, people!High Anxiety Blog Hop
Click HERE to start from the beginning.

 

 

I stepped closer. “Whoa! Is that what I think it is?!”

The Cretin Brothers took a step back. Disbelief shown on their ugly faces. Reaching around in the purse my hand found my lipstick tube. I flicked it open and pepper spray hit both of the ugly Midnight Movers.
“Ooops”  I said.

My heart thudded as the immediate arresting thoughts slammed me:

  1. I’d forgotten to re-stock the Xanax in this purse
  2. The phone number for 911 had completely escaped my mind
  3. That tube of lipstick had better not be lost. Revlon discontinued that shade
  4. The portable charger was easy to find in my bag
  5. We’re gonna need a bigger boat

As the ugly stick kids gagged and wiped at their eyes I hobbled over to the item they’d dropped. Tears of gratitude welled in my eyes. Bending down I grabbed the extension cord and plugged it into the charger. In an utterly selfless act I aimed the rounded end of the object towards Tall Guy’s tuchus. With a mighty push on the wheels a glow and hum began to emanate from the missile shaped package. They suddenly understood. Mascara running down his cheeks, Tall reached down to grab his ankles.

Short dark and ugly stood by and watched as the A-Bomb shot directly towards his comrade’s backside “Oh dear Gods! It’s a giant…..

Click HERE to continue the story!

 

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21 thoughts on “The Most Outlandish Tale About Anxiety and Depression Ever Told

  1. Pingback: The Most Outlandish Tale About Anxiety and Depression Ever Told | Christopher De Voss

  2. I can assure you that you will be notified whenever an outlandish fiction piece is needed. The line about the bigger boat was a laugh out loud moment too – loved the whole thing, Rachael!

    Like

  3. Rachael you are so wicked, but then you know
    that I have always thought that about you 🙂 😉
    Well, wicked, naughty, kinky and… Hey let me
    wish you a very Happy Easter before I spin off
    on another tangent 😉 lol

    I wonder if there is a Zombie Easter Egg big enough
    for my gift for you this weekend… How do you mean
    you wanted something sweeter? Blimey you will have
    my Easter Egg and nothing more… You always were
    a greedy whip handler, I will have to watch out where
    I bend over with you around 😉 lmao

    Happy Easter my sweet and dear friend 🙂

    Andro xxxx

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    • Andro, You are so sweet. Sweeter than the finest fresh droplets of crimson life. Sweeter than the kiss of hot chilling breeze. Sweeter than all of the Dark Dark Chocolate in my favorite candy.
      Let’s face it Andro… you’re a Tasty Dish of Decadence!
      Let the Zombies swing and play us a tune to dance. After all it’s Good Friday. Not so good for Jesus, but it’s looking fine for us -grin-
      xxx

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  4. Don’t forget to drop me the link for your new website
    of which I hope was restored after the horrible glitch
    the other day… I will be making some extra pancakes
    and I have the paddle of plenty ready for your arrival,
    or is that my arrival? Well either way you know what
    I mean so stop being so downright naughty 😉 lmao

    See you soon Rachael and be wicked, I always am 😉

    Andro xxxx

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    • Andro you are my partner in Wickedness. We should set up a corporation and teach people the basics. We could be rich and famous. Or is that rich and infamous? hehehehe.
      Will have a Cyber-Launch Party when the site is ready and YOU are invited.
      Off to Work my Wickedness on the Website!
      xxx
      p.s. Bring Pancakes yummmmmm

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      • I always have a fresh batch of pancakes Rachael so grab the syrup and let’s eat them all before anyone else turns up 🙂

        I can’t wait for you launch (Binky will help with that
        as he launches things on a weekly basis, and his rockets are full of juice, which is handy for the pancakes) of your new website 🙂

        Have a dark and exciting weekend
        filled with naughtiness, spanks and tickles 🙂

        Andro xxxx

        Like

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